Everything and More
by warmsugar
Summary: Shuurei faces a difficult decision. Will she calmly fulfill her duty as the only daughter of the powerful Kou Clan or will she follow her heart?
1. Chapter 1

It was almost time. In a few minutes, the deceptive stillness of the day would be broken. She sighed deeply. It couldn't be helped. It was a foolish dream to begin with. And yet, she was reluctant to end it, even knowing that to prolong it any more than was necessary would be so much more than cruel…

The afternoon was slowly fading into that which was neither day nor night. She watched the intricate dance of light and shadow cast by the cherry tree in their courtyard. It was both beautiful and proud, its matchless grace rivaled only by the man who had given it to her. It seemed as if an eternity had passed since that eventful evening when he had excitedly handed her the slender sapling. Strangely enough, she had understood what he was silently asking of her. Since then, that unspoken plea had been at the center of all her actions. She had done everything in her power to ensure that the dream he had entrusted her with would be realized.

Had it only been three years? It constantly amazed her that so much had happened in such a short span of time. Their lives had significantly been altered by everything they had gone through. And she believed that their untiring effort and relentless strength of will had paved the way in effecting positive changes in the kingdom. After all, was this not what she worked hard for? What she had braved the wrath and fury of all those pompous court officials for? Peace and prosperity for the land and its people. That was all she wanted.

And yet… She shook her head in bemusement. Such wayward thoughts were highly inappropriate, given the circumstances. The matter at hand was far too serious and important for her to waste time on capricious fancies. This time, she knew she had to focus her entire attention to it. She was, at the end of her proverbial rope so to speak, she thought to herself wryly. She could no longer put it off or simply ignore it as she had done several times in the past. She had promised. There was no more backing out, and she could no longer run away.

She sensed his presence even before he spoke. Without bothering to turn around she questioned whimsically, "Have you ever wondered what the cherry blossom thinks as it falls gracefully to the ground, Seiran?"

He smile, unsurprised that she knew it was him. "Ojou-sama, you seem to be in a strange mood. Is something bothering you?" He asked softly.

In a heartbeat he was there by her side, his warm presence soothing the disquiet in her soul. She continued to stare out into the courtyard, trying to put into words the thoughts running through her head. She spoke hesitantly at first, "Do you remember that dreadful time, when the stench of death filled the air and the ragged cries of the suffering drowned out the voice of the wind?" Lost in the memory she continued, "We were so young but I remember, I was afraid to hope." She ended in a whisper.

Seiran stole a glance at her from the corner of his eye. It frustrated him that there was nothing he could do to erase those painful memories from her heart. "Ojou-sama," he murmured.

Eyes closed, she went on. "Back then, I was afraid to trust in a tomorrow that seemed nothing more than a forgotten melody." She turned to him with a smile on her face. Only her eyes showed the deep sadness she kept within.

"But look Seiran," she exclaimed, pointing at the young tree. "This tree is hope itself, and its blossoms are our dreams." She laughed at the confused look on his face and turned to once again look at the cherry tree.

"I used to think that the cherry blossoms were afraid to fall, because falling meant dying." She breathed in the heady scent of the night.

Her thoughts went back to the task before her. Never in her life had she dreaded anything as much as she did this one small thing. She sighed unconsciously. Immediately a strong pair of arms wrapped around her and drew her close.

She simply closed her eyes and let him. No words were spoken she knew they were not needed. Not with him, never with him. She had never questioned the bond they shared; she had always assumed that it stemmed from being raised practically as brother and sister. But now, within the circle of his arms, his heart beating strongly and steadily against her cheek, she wondered.


	2. Chapter 2

Shouka watched his daughter bustling about the kitchen under half-closed lids. The sight of her doing mundane household chores was comforting. He savored these moments as he knew the day that every father secretly dreaded was drawing near. He had to tell her, and soon. Tempers were running high and the tension within the Imperial Palace was thick enough to cut with a knife.

He wished that there were some way he could spare Shuurei from it all. But she was the only daughter of the Kou clan and even Reishin, albeit very reluctantly, had reminded him that she had a duty to fulfill.

"What's wrong Otou-san?" Shuurei asked worriedly.

So lost in his thoughts, he did not hear her approach. He looked up into the concerned face of his daughter and knew that there would never be a better time than this. "Shuurei, could you spare a moment to sit and chat with your dear old Otou-san?" He teased.

At his easy smile, Shuurei released the breath she'd been holding in. "Otou-san, you're so silly. Of course I can!" She then propped the broom she was holding against the wall.

Shouka got up and announced, "Before we begin, I shall brew some tea for us."

She shot up like a rocket at that. "Ohohoho, don't be silly Otou-san. Do sit down and make yourself comfortable. I'll prepare tea for us!" She said in a near shout.

"Shuurei," he admonished gently, "Won't you let me take care of you for a change? It's just tea after all."

Papa-tea was not "just" tea she thought to herself, wincing inwardly. Her father was a good man; bless his soul, but a complete and total disaster in the kitchen. She looked at his earnest face and sighed. She knew that he had her there. "Eh, alright then, I would love to have some of your home made tea."

"Wonderful!" He said smiling delightedly.

Oh dear, she thought.

A few crashes and bangs later he returned with a pot and two beautiful but unfamiliar cups. He set them down carefully on the table, and then sat down in front of his daughter. He was amused at the show of restraint she was showing. He knew she was dying to ask him about the cups, but was too well mannered to start badgering him about them before they took their first sip.

"Otou-san, shall I pour?" She asked formally.

"Yes please." He answered just as politely.

She stood up gracefully poured tea into the cups. Steam rose from the hot liquid and gave off a fragrance that seemed vaguely familiar to her. She tried to recall where she had smelled this particular scent before but the memory eluded her.

Shouka raised the cup to his lips and took a sip and smiled at Shuurei encouragingly.

Something that smells this good can't be that bad, could it she thought to herself reasonably.

She raised the cup to her lips and smiled widely at her father, preparing her taste buds for the worst. Her eyes widened in shock as the flavor of the warm tea spread inside her mouth.

He calmly took another sip. "This was your mother's secret recipe," he explained with a crooked smile. "Kanroucha tea infused with rose petals." Shouka took in his daughter's rapt face and his heart clenched painfully. How could he ever give her up?

He quickly drove such wretched thoughts away and continued his story. "As a child, you would get sick very often and she discovered that the fragrance of this particular infusion would calm you down when you were fretful."

Shuurei suddenly had a vision of her mother sitting next to her, softly stroking her hair and telling her the story of the rose princess. She remembered the porcelain cup, with its pattern of blood red roses always by her bedside, steam gracefully rising into the air. And she remembered the smell, the sweet delicate fragrance of her mother's tea.

"Otou-san," she said softly, "I remember." A beautiful smile spread across her face. Somehow, she sensed that everything would be okay. She was ready to walk the new path that was before her.

"I'm ready Otou-san, you may tell me what is in your heart."

Shouka was amazed. He had expected a barrage of angry protests or a long-winded justification of how she would make an unsuitable wife for anyone… he had even prepared himself for tears. This quiet acceptance caught him completely off-guard. He looked at Shuurei with new eyes and saw that the girl before him was no longer the child she once was. Her hands lay still in her lap and the eyes that met his gaze were steady and sure. He could no longer sense the doubts and fears that had previously shadowed her. This girl he thought, no, this woman he corrected himself—could have the world at her feet should she so desire it.

"You are in my heart Shuurei." He answered simply.

Shuurei started laughing at that, and the solemnity of the moment was replaced by her light-hearted gaiety. "Otou-san, truly. I know there is something you want to tell me. Please go ahead, I promise to listen carefully and consider what it is you have to say."

"It has been decided that you are to marry, and soon." He stated abruptly, the words tumbling from his mouth with about as much grace as that of a dancing elephant.

Although she had expected something along those lines, it still came as a shock to her.

"Soon," she echoed faintly. "How soon is soon, Otou-san?"

"Before your 20th birthday." The lines bracketing Shouka's mouth deepened with regret.

"But that's only a month from today!" she gasped in dismay.

"Shuurei," he said seriously. "Do you love Ryuuki?"

She blushed at such a personal question, coming from her father no less! "Otou-san! Must you ask such embarrassing questions?" She asked agitatedly, turning her flushed face away from him.

He reached out and gently cupped his daughter's face and turned it towards him. The mutinous expression on Shuurei's face was adorable but he could not let it sway him, or make him forget his purpose.

"My child, you are aware of the tension in the palace are you not?"

She silently nodded her head.

"The Emperor must marry but he has been putting it off, giving one useless and poor excuse after another. But everyone knows that he is waiting only for you." He ended gently. "So I must ask you again, do you love Ryuuki Shuurei?"

"I don't know Otou-san." She answered honestly. "I care for him, and his happiness is important to me. I've always wanted to be there to support him, and help him become a good ruler. But love? I don't know. Is that love? I'm confused." She said in a whisper.

In a small voice she continued, "Otou-san, do you want me to marry Ryuuki? I will if you tell me to."

"I want you to be happy, that is all."

"But if I don't marry Ryuuki, who then Otou-san?" She implored mournfully. "Who will you choose for me?"

The smile he gave her made her catch her breath, the sadness she saw in his loving eyes all but unhinged her. "I had hoped… but then, I realized only you can decide who gets to stay by your side forever."

He took her cold hands and clasped them tightly in his. "Search your heart my beloved daughter, and maybe you will find the answer you seek. I would rather you marry for love."

He looked at the hunched and dejected form of his daughter and his heart was troubled. Shuurei… you must choose my daughter, he thought desperately. You must decide for yourself. Because if you won't… my brothers will.


	3. Chapter 3

She wanted to stay in his arms forever. She was safe here, she was protected. The problems of the world were far away and she could remain as she was, things could stay the way they were. She inwardly chided herself for her foolish imaginings. Had she not promised that she would no longer run away? 

Seiran felt the sudden shift in the planes of her body; it was so subtle that he would have missed it had he not been so focused on her. She was no longer relaxed and at peace. Something was definitely bothering her. It irritated the hell out of him that she continued to try to keep things from him; despite the fact that she knew he was aware of even the slightest change in her moods.

He already had an idea about what was weighing on her mind, but he could not say anything unless she shared her worries with him first. Damn you Kou Reishin, he thought savagely. 

His thoughts then turned to his younger brother and the feeling of ambivalence intensified. 

If someone had told him that the day would come that he would value his own happiness before that of his brother, he would have laughed in his face then promptly chopped his head off. Ryuuki was the only one who had truly loved him then, and it was only Ryuuki whom he had loved. 

But he was banished into a cold and dark place that knew nothing of love. Love was a weakness, and his exile had taught him that there is no room for the weak in this world. So he lived by that code. The better part of his youth was consumed by a helpless and violent rage. He would have continued on that destructive path until the darkness devoured him completely.

Then he saw her, in the blinding snow she reached out her hand and called his name. Those guileless eyes, the pure and innocent smile in a face untouched by the horrors of the world. He vowed that he would allow nothing to harm her. She was his angel, and she had saved him from the emptiness within him. She was his and he would protect her forever, he thought to himself grimly. 

"What a scary face," she teased. "No wonder Ensei and the others are afraid of you Seiran." 

It was unlike him. He had not even noticed that she had moved away from him. But that was fine; she was smiling now. "But you aren't, right Ojou-sama?" He said with a rueful smile.

To which she laughingly replied, "Off course not! You're my Seiran, I would never be afraid of you. You'd never hurt me."

"Ojou-sama, you should not be so trusting." He admonished lightly, annoyed yet somehow pleased by her response. 

He watched her walk towards the window and gaze out into the sky. "There is no moon tonight." She observed casually, though the slight trembling of her lips made a mockery of the gesture.

Seiran's mouth tightened into a hard line. More than two years had passed since then and still, the moonless night reminded her of him. Sa Sakujun… you got your wish you bastard, he thought bitterly.

He was still cursing Sakujun and the entire Sa house when she started talking, more to herself than him really. 

"Otou-san said I must marry, that it has been ordered by Uncle Kurou that I must choose a husband before my 20th birthday." 

Seiran said nothing; he merely waited for her to continue.

"I suddenly wish I were more like all the other young noblewomen." She said, her mouth curving wryly. "Perhaps then, I wouldn't be having this much trouble sorting out my feelings."

He moved to stand quietly beside her. Despite her smile, he could see that the pressure she was under was taking its toll. But the burden she bore was hers alone, and he could not even help her carry it. 

She moved closer to his warmth. His solid presence reassured her somehow. "I'm really hopelessly inexperienced in matters of the heart, aren't I Seiran? She sighed at that. "Although, I probably only have myself to blame." She said with a wan smile.

"Why do you think that, Ojou-sama?"

"Well, I have been so caught up in trying to change the world that I simply haven't had time for love. Or maybe, it's because I've always been afraid to allow myself to fall in love." 

"What little I know of love, I learned from you and your family." He said softly. He thought about Ryuuki, and all the other people who had somehow become dear to him along the way. "You took me in and cared for me without even knowing anything about me. I will always be grateful for that." 

Seiran looked deeply into her troubled eyes and went on, "Love has not one form Ojou-sama, but many. Maybe you are too focused on finding that which you perceive to be love, that you may not recognize love once it is in front of you." 

Shuurei looked at him with thoughtful eyes. "You may be right Seiran. After all, what do I know of love?" She murmured, an inaudible sigh escaping her lips.

She stared up into the sky and went on, "That man said he loved me… but I was nothing more than a plaything to relieve his boredom. And after, I was a pawn in a struggle for power. Yet knowing all that, I was still drawn to him."

She rarely talked about that time and for her to bring it up now… 

"Ryuuki says that he loves me, and will love only me." She turned to face him again. "But why is it that when he says those words, all I see is his infinite loneliness?" She smiled at him almost sadly. "Ryuuki wants me because I drive away the darkness. He believes he loves me."

He knew that he had no right to ask… but he had to hear her say it, he needed to hear the words from her lips. "And you, Ojou-sama, what do you believe?" He asked hoarsely, his voice cracking from keeping his emotions in check.

"I believe that I want more than that." She whispered, "I'm so ashamed but is it selfish of me to want more? I want to be loved for nothing more than simply because I am me." 

"It is girl's dream, a foolish dream." She said huskily. "As the only daughter of the Kou clan, it is my duty to marry well. Given the pride of our house, they will accept nothing less than a bridegroom from the royal family or the noble Ran house. I will fulfill my duty," she said with steely determination. "I will do what I must." 

In that moment, Seiran remembered a dream that had haunted him for a long time. A dream that he had ruthlessly shoved into the deepest recesses of his mind. 

In his hand he held a crystal ball and within it, was his life. He looked into it and saw the darkness of his past. He saw the life he had come to cherish on one side, and on the other, he saw the life he would have lived had he had chosen to walk another path. And at the center of it all was Shuurei. She smiled at him and everything else faded away until there was nothing left but her. Only her.

He opened his eyes and found himself staring into the face in his dreams. "Shuurei." He said in an aching voice that was alien even to his ears.

Her startled gaze met his steady one. He had never called her by her name before. Although it was unexpected, she found that it pleased her. 

She looked at him, confused by his strange mood. "Seiran?" 

As he looked down on her expectant face, for the first time, he allowed himself to think of the future. He had chosen to devote his life for the happiness of others to make up for his past mistakes but now; he knew what he had to do. Unbidden, the voice of Shouka-danna came to mind, urging him to live.

_"You must live for your own sake, Seiran. You must live to find your own happiness."_

Though he knew that he would regret them the minute he uttered the words, he also knew that if he remained silent, he would regret it for the rest of his days.

"Shuurei," he repeated, firmly and more confidently this time. "What do you truly desire?" 

He looked at her with penetrating eyes, "What is in your heart Shuurei? Who is in your heart? The answer is there, but you're too afraid to truly see what's within!" He growled, frustration evident in the clenched line of his jaw. 

She paled at that. Seeing her stricken look, he cursed himself for pushing her too far, too fast.

"I… I don't know!" She cried angrily. "Must you pressure me too?" She asked in anguish, "You of all people…" she added brokenly. "Please leave Seiran, I need to be alone, please…" She begged urgently, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill forth.

In the past, he had always done as she asked. Not anymore. Instead, he pulled her into his arms, he felt her stiffen for a moment; and then going limp, she allowed him to gather her close. Her face was buried in his chest, her sobs muffled against his shirt. 

"Shuurei… Shuurei…" He repeated over and over, soothing her with the sound of his voice and the gentleness of his warm hands stroking her back.

He held her as the storm raged through her small form, until at last, her tears spent, she was quiet and still in his arms. He hugged her tightly, and then let his chin rest atop her head. Closing his eyes, he inhaled deeply. Her warmth, the sweet and subtle scent that was uniquely hers was intoxicating. 

"I once told you that if you were to open your heart and choose someone to love, I would be a far better choice than anyone, because I live only for your happiness." He loosened his hold on her slightly, so that he could look into her eyes.

"Do you remember, Shuurei?" He prompted gently.

She looked up at him in wonder. This man, who was this man before her? He was a stranger and yet, so achingly familiar. This was a side of him that was new to her. It was if she was seeing him for the first time, her confused brain took in his handsome face… the perfectly formed lips… Why, he's quite beautiful she thought to herself dazedly, perhaps just as beautiful as that… man. For the first time, she looked at him with the eyes of a woman.

He saw the shock of awareness in her eyes and was mildly amused by it. He wasn't sure if he should rejoice or be utterly crushed that she had never looked at him that way. But then, he thought with an inward smile; that was just one of the things that made her so special. He decided to ignore it for the moment. He continued talking, as though unaware of the mixed emotions he could sense emanating from her. 

"I've never told anyone about my past, simply because I wanted to forget. I was," he hesitated, as though unsure of what to say next. "I was consumed by a dark and mindless rage—empty and dead inside." He searched her face for a sign of fear or revulsion, seeing even the smallest trace of either, he would have held his tongue. Finding neither, he carried on.

"I've done many things I am not proud of." He said grimacing slightly. "But when I met you, I decided that making you happy would be the best way to atone for my sins. And so I lived, for your sake." 

Her breath caught in her throat at the intensity she saw in his dark and piercing eyes. This feeling… her mind was a tangled jungle of disjointed thoughts. His eyes, why had she never noticed? 

"You told me that you wanted more." He said, his face an inscrutable mask.

"Yes." She answered, her voice faint and uncertain.

"Look at me." He demanded urgently, "See me."

Shuurei slowly turned her face to his and what she saw took her breath away.

His piercing emerald eyes burned her with its fierce passion. "Seiran." She breathed. 

No more lies this time, no more games. Only truth. "Everything I am is because of you, without you I am nothing." He said in a halting voice; then strengthening his resolve, "Over the years I have been known by many names but the only one I truly wanted, the only name my heart answered to was the one you gave me." He stated simply, the sincerity in his voice mirroring the warmth in his eyes.

"I am only me, but I offer you all that I am and I lay my life at your feet." 

Seiran shook his head, he could almost laugh at the irony of it all if it weren't so damned painful. "I really am a selfish bastard," he said to himself in mocking tones. "I thought I was strong enough to keep my feelings to myself—and continue to be the person you relied on…" he whispered, "But all this talk of marriage..." he held out his hands to her in helpless supplication. "I've realized the truth of the words I so carelessly said long ago. I can't lose you," he said achingly. "I won't be able to bear it." I can't let you go, he added silently; not even to a brother dearly loved. 

Tears were slowly coursing down her cheeks. There were no words to describe the way she was feeling. She looked at him in wonder, his words reaching her heart, touching her heart as no other had. Is this… is this how it feels she thought in awe. 

His fingers tenderly brushed away her tears. "You're not supposed to cry," he teased gently. "After all, I've been ranting at you like a lunatic." Seiran said with a wry twist of his lips. 

He gently cupped her heated face in his hands, "You have a choice to make Shuurei. And even after all this, I only want you to be happy." Kissing her softly on her forehead, he turned to leave. She watched him go with wide eyes, unable to move, unable to say what was in her heart.

Seiran paused by the door, his back taut with tension. In a voice rough with emotion he said, "But you must know Shuurei, it was always you. From the moment you held your hand out to me that snowy morning; my fate was sealed. I wanted only you, just you. And if it is your wish, I will become whatever and whoever you want me to be. Perhaps—even… emperor." he ended enigmatically. 

That said; he disappeared as silently as he had arrived, leaving a thoroughly confused Shuurei behind.


	4. Chapter 4

He was waiting. This was their place. He walked quietly amidst the cherry trees, thinking about the first time he saw her. It seemed like a distant memory now but he remembered everything about that day clearly.

"Your Majesty." She said formally, to announce her presence.

Ryuuki whirled around at the sound of her voice. "Shuurei… we have missed you." In a reproachful tone he continued, "We have been so lonely without you."

She looked at his beautiful face, his warm and radiant smile. She felt the sincerity of his words curl around her heart. Dear Lord, she prayed silently. Give me the strength to do what I must.

"Such nonsense," she chided reprovingly. "Do you think such graceless words should be uttered by the emperor's lips?"

Ryuuki pouted. "Why is Shuurei being so mean to us?"

Shuurei rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Honestly Ryuuki! You're such a child!" she exclaimed.

"You called my name, Shuurei." He said joyfully, all traces of the petulant and spoiled emperor disappearing as if by magic. In his place was the Ryuuki she had come to know and love, this Emperor of theirs who was about as excitable as an exuberant puppy.

"Of course, Ryuuki. I promised, didn't I?" She said, dimpling at him. She looked around the tranquil garden and a wave of nostalgia flooded her senses. "This is where we first met."

Ryuuki smiled too, remembering. "Yes."

"I was so angry at you when I found out about your little joke." Thinking about that incident turned her voice cold as a mountain glacier. She looked at him from the corner of her eye. He at least, had the decency to look guilty.

"Aaaah… that." He said uncomfortably, his face turning a charming shade of pink. "That's in the past isn't it Shuurei?" He asked worriedly. "You've forgiven me right?"

She couldn't help but laugh at his woebegone expression. "Oh Ryuuki, you are still such a child." She ended, a bemused smile on her face.

"Go ahead and make fun of me why don't you." He grumbled in annoyance.

"Look Ryuuki!" She cried excitedly, "The cherry trees have begun to blossom!"

The annoyance he felt slowly melted away as he gazed upon her rapt expression. This was why he waited ever so patiently, why he would continue to wait— forever if need be. He paled at that. As if trying to dispel some malevolent ghost, he shook his head quickly at that horrible and definitely unwanted thought.

"Eh, is something wrong, Ryuuki?" She questioned, her concern reflected in searching brown eyes.

Looking at her animated face, he couldn't help but smile. "You are here with me, nothing could ever be wrong when you are beside me."

Shuurei stood beside him quietly, and her heart was full of conflicting emotions. She had deep affection for the man standing so serenely at her side. She looked up at him; his golden eyes were limpid in the fading light. He was a far cry from the sulky and awful brat he had once been. Her heart constricted painfully. Would she… would she be able to live with herself after causing him the hurt she was about to?

"You have become a wonderful emperor." She said quietly.

"Eh?" Ryuuki looked down at her in surprise, "Where did that come from?" He shivered, as though someone had trailed an icy finger down his back. He was disturbed by this sudden shift in her mood.

Shuurei remained as she was, staring out into the garden. She did not want to see his face… she would lose what little resolve she had left. Being with him like this, she could almost forget that he was the Emperor. She sighed inaudibly. Well, it can't be helped. It was a foolish dream after all…

Ryuuki heard her soft sigh and wondered at the pensive look on her beautiful face. "What are you thinking about?" He asked, the words rushing out unbidden. "It must be truly something terrible."

Shuurei looked up, startled by his statement. It was too close to the truth. Instead she instantly retorted, "What makes you think that I'm thinking of something terrible?"

"Your smile," he responded with a lopsided one of his own. "Your lips may be smiling but I can't pretend not to see the sadness in your eyes."

Moisture instantly gathered at the corner of her eyes, he knew her too well. "Oh Ryuuki!" She whispered poignantly.

He gathered her into his arms and held her as tears fell silently down her cheeks. He felt as if his heart would break. He did not know why she cried but strangely enough, he thought he understood the reason.

"Hush now," he said soothingly. "Shuurei must not cry, or we will cry too." He said gently. He tilted her face towards his and looked deeply into her eyes. In their clouded depths he saw the confusion and anguish that was tearing her apart.

Was this what it meant to be a good man, he thought to himself painfully? If this was what she wanted. If he truly loved her as he had professed time and time again, he would do what he must.

"Shuurei must be strong for us," he continued with a faint smile. "We know we will become a great ruler if Shuurei is there," he said clumsily, "to support us." He ended.

"Ryuuki?"

_My love, my heart… if this is what you truly want…_

He smiled at her brightly. His face felt as if it would crack any moment but he was firm in his resolve. "Shuurei let us make our way back."

Shuurei looked at him uncertainly. He had not even asked her why she cried. And he was talking to her as the Emperor… "Ooh, okay then." She said softly.

_My love, my heart… you will never know how much I truly feel…_

"Spring has come." He breathed in the gathering twilight. "We feel optimistic for the future. When we think about what we have accomplished thus far, we are happy."

She thought about everything that they had been through and found that she could still smile. "Hai, your Majesty. You have done very well and I am proud of you." She said with a warm smile, approval and love shining from her eyes.

_My love, my heart… what we did, what we do is all for you…_

"Shuurei is most generous with her praise tonight," he teased. "Could it be, she is finally in love?" He managed to spit out the words without gagging. They had to reach the central courtyard soon, he thought desperately. A few more minutes of this unholy torture and all his good intentions would go flying out the window. He'd fall at her feet, a blubbering mess begging, pleading with her to stay with him and love him back.

"Whaa… just whaaat are you implying you ridiculous man!" She sputtered ungracefully, her face mottling to a quite interesting shade of purple. "In love!" She exploded impatiently, "You are impossible!"

_My love, my heart… this truth I cannot know, my heart cannot bear it…_

He stopped mid-stride and grinned at her unrepentantly. "Shuurei is angry eh? We are sorry about that but it is nice to see you looking like your usual self." He said smiling impishly and with the innocence of a cherub.

Looking at his beautiful and smiling face, her anger fell away. This irritating man knew her all too well. Before she knew it, she was laughing. The lilting sound was a balm that would soothe even the most savage of beasts.

She looked at him and smiled. "Arigatou, Ryuuki." She reverted back to calling him by his given name. He had given her back her heart.

_My love, my heart… I will love no other but you…_

"Ryuuki, the reason why I came here was... umph," the rest of her words were stifled by his hand covering her mouth. She raised a brow and looked at him with questioning eyes.

"Those words you are about to say we never want to hear." He said imperiously; then he stole a quick glance at her to see her reaction. Just as he had thought, a storm was brewing in her lovely brown eyes but he refused to be daunted.

"Kou Shuurei, before you say anything, hear us out first." When she looked as though she might not agree, he added, "Please?"

She nodded her head in resignation. "Go ahead." She mumbled behind muffled lips.

With her agreement, he reluctantly removed his hand from her face.

"We have asked you repeatedly to marry us, and still you refuse. We have told you countless times that we love you and still you harden your heart." He looked utterly defeated as he said the last few words.

"We must marry soon, and we cannot wait for you anymore like we had promised." The lie slipped out easily enough, but he knew the sorrow that would later engulf him would be endless.

Shuurei was stunned. Of all the things he could have told her, this was something she would never have expected in a million years. She felt a tiny twinge of pain and then, she felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders. She looked at him, wide-eyed.

Ryuuki swallowed hard. He had to keep going, he could not give in just yet. He heard himself crying in the distance. Wait, he thought, I will be joining you soon. He looked at Shuurei intently, as though memorizing each and every line and angle of her precious face.

_My love, my heart… only because I truly love you… _

"We are so very sorry, Shuurei," He said softly, sadly. "But we must do what is right; as Emperor, we must do what we must. The Ran family expects…"

"And Jyuusan-hime is a good woman." She finished calmly. She looked at Ryuuki and the smile she gave him was so breath-taking it almost undid him. "She will make a fine Empress Ryuuki, she will make a fine wife."

He looked at her serene face; her eyes were clear and tranquil. The agonizing sadness he felt enveloping her earlier was gone. Though it had caused him, and would continue to cause him unspeakable pain, he was glad that he was able to give her this peace. She had already given him so much. He felt a bittersweet pride in knowing that he alone could have given her this precious gift.

Shuurei bowed low. "Thank you, Your Majesty. Please know that I, Kou Shuurei will support you for the rest of my days." She said this with a deep sense of pride and promise. "Today, I have sworn my complete and utter loyalty to you, Emperor Shi Ryuuki and I will serve you as best as I possibly can. Whether it be as a court official, or whether it be just as your friend."

"Shuurei." He said, faltering slightly, then mustering a smile he murmured, "Arigatou." He allowed himself one last look at the face of his beloved then he called to him what little self-composure he had left.

"You may go ahead to the palace. We will stay here a bit longer. The fresh air helps us think better."

She looked at him, considering his words carefully. "Are you sure, Your Majesty?" Her eyes met his and he saw her skepticism.

"Hai, hai," he said with a huge smile. "Please go ahead, we will follow shortly. Later please brew us a cup of your kanroucha tea before you leave."

"Of course. Well, okay then… if you're sure."

"Hai." He said firmly.

She shrugged her shoulders and started making her way back to the palace. She turned around and watched as Ryuuki waved at her, then shooed her away. She smiled. He had really grown into a… a good man.

_My love, my heart… I will love no other but you…_


	5. Chapter 5

Tears fell steadily from his eyes but he paid them no heed.

"Shuurei…" He breathed in an agonized whisper. "I will love no other but you."

He continued to watch her move farther and farther away, and with each step she took, a little more of him died inside. "Oh Shuurei…" How would he possibly move on? He had been earnestly working hard to build a world that would allow her to stand by his side. And now, he had given up that which he had sacrificed so much for— all of his own accord. All because he loved her, because he could not bear to be the reason for her sadness.

"Baka!" He reproached himself angrily.

He felt the silent footsteps that approached before he even heard them. He did not turn around.

"You heard everything." Ryuuki said calmly, not questioning but stating a fact.

"Hai." Seiran answered quietly as he stepped out of the shadows. "You…" he wavered, "You did well Your Majesty."

Ryuuki's lips trembled, and his shoulders began to shake convulsively. "Sei… en Anuie." He cried out, the mask of cool composure crumbling in the presence of his elder brother.

Seiran looked up at his brother's pitiful tone and was alarmed to see him shaking like a leaf in the wind. "Your Majesty!" He then pulled his brother to his side, and held him until the tremors ceased.

"No one told us that it would be this painful!" Ryuuki wailed piteously, his usually sunny countenance twisted by grief.

"Your Majesty." Seiran murmured.

Ryuuki looked at him impatiently and demanded, "Is that all you can say? Your Majesty?" Ryuuki inquired bitterly. "Can you even begin to imagine the pain we are enduring because of that one small stupid lie?" He rebuked in biting tones.

Seiran could only shake his head. He had never seen his brother in such a state. While part of him was relieved that Shuurei (as he had finally allowed himself to think of her) was able to get through the meeting without cracking, a huge chunk of his soul wished that there could have been some other way— another way that would have ensured everyone's happiness.

"Your Majesty." He murmured helplessly. It seemed that he had underestimated the depth of his younger brother's feelings for her. He cringed inwardly, thinking of the selfish sentiments he had expressed to Shuurei a few days earlier. Looking at Ryuuki's pathetic demeanor now, he almost regretted his confession… well, almost.

"Sei-en aniue!" Ryuuki sobbed, throwing caution to the wind, "It hurts." Ryuuki's hands clenched convulsively, his fists bunching the folds of Seiran's shirt. "We don't want to be Emperor anymore, we only want Shuurei… Can you not…?" He asked in a whisper.

Jolted out of his musings by his brother's outburst, he said roughly, "Hush Your Majesty— saying such preposterous things. You know what would happen if people found out that Prince Seien was alive," he reproached. "You also know that it would kill him to be the cause of a political uprising." Lost in a memory he continued coldly, "This country cannot survive another civil war." The latter was said with harsh finality.

"But Anuie…"

"Enough!" Seiran commanded, oblivious to how arrogant he sounded. He stared at Ryuuki and images of a bruised and bedraggled child flashed before his eyes. He sighed, his eyes gentled but still he went on to firmly say, "Shi Ryuuki, YOU are the Emperor of Saiunkoku and you have to be strong, you must become strong for the sake of our country and its people."

"Anuie?" Ryuuki repeated plaintively.

Seiran looked at him in exasperation and said, "You must bring peace to this land, Your Majesty." He ended simply, a faint smile appearing briefly upon his full lips.

He turned his back and looked out into the darkness of the garden. The clear and cloudless sky was reflected by the still waters of the pond, its glass-like surface perfectly mirroring the beauty of the star-lit night.

"The world is changing, and there are still many things that we can do, no— we must do to help rebuild our nation."

Ryuuki was transfixed by the intensity in his brother's voice. Though the words were stated quietly, he could sense the tension that seethed beneath the surface of Seiran's calm façade.

He turned to look at Ryuuki, hard green orbs boring into the depths of his golden gaze.

"Do you understand what I am telling you, Your Majesty?"

Ryuuki could not look away, he breathed in deeply then hesitantly answered, "We understand Shi Seiran, or at least we think we do." It was his turn to stare out into the darkness.

"I once promised you that I would always be at your side, no matter what happens." Seiran intoned deeply. "That promise still holds true; you will never be alone again. Ojou-sama and I will support you— always. You need not fear the dark any longer, Your Majesty."

Ryuuki bit his lip, trying to stop it's trembling. It was all too much. He felt unbelievably drained. He bowed his head and mumbled faintly, "Arigatou Shi Seiran. We will meditate over your words."

"Hai." Seiran replied.

Side by side, they stood quietly— each absorbed in his own thoughts.

Overhead, clouds moved swiftly as though playing a game of hide-and-seek with the twinkling lights. And in a small courtyard, somewhere in the middle of a slightly run-down manor, a lone cherry blossom started to fall.


	6. Chapter 6

Reishin was disturbed, and the feeling was mildly irritating since hardly anything upset him anymore. Especially something this trivial. That sniveling brat, he thought wrathfully. Upsetting his beloved Shuurei like this… He contemplated sending one or two assassins his way— nothing serious, just worrisome enough to shake him up a little.

"Too obvious," he muttered under his breath. Surely there was something he could do? He just had to be more creative he thought, a malicious gleam entering his eyes.

"Reishin, what are you doing here?" Shouka asked, surprise evident in his voice at the unexpected appearance of his younger brother in their kitchen.

Reishin turned around at the voice of his elder brother. "Shou-aniue!" he exclaimed joyfully, his eyes shining brightly in the presence of his Onii-san.

"Hai, hai." Shouka said, bestowing an indulgent look upon the younger man. "I just got back from the Archives. Has Shuurei come home?"

Reishin shook his head. "She was still with that pitiful excuse of an emperor when I left the Imperial Palace," he replied belligerently, his eyes narrowing sharply as he thought of Shuurei and their baka emperor.

The mental picture of Shuurei and Ryuuki laughing and being happy together was too much. His eyes widened in horror, "Aniue! Surely you will not allow Shuurei to marry that… that foolish wretch!"

He started pacing the floor furiously, his fan snapping open and shut with each step he took. Shuurei married… "Aaaaggh!" He stamped his feet in frustration. He stopped abruptly and whirled to face his brother, shoving his fan pointedly in Shouka's face.

"I forbid it!" he roared. "I absolutely forbid it! That snot-nosed brat prince will never have my Shuurei!" he ended in a near scream, the veins on his forehead popping out in the wake of his fury.

A split-second later, he started beaming like an idiot, as only Reishin could and ONLY when it involved a certain dark-haired beauty.

"Shuurei…" Reishin murmured dreamily, thinking about his adorable niece had the singular and pronounced effect of reducing him to a pile of mush.

Shouka shook his head in resignation. He brought a hand to his temple and discreetly rubbed his throbbing head. These fits and starts of Reishin were truly tiresome, not to mention trying as well.

Plastering a wide smile on his face. "Reishin, please calm yourself. Come sit down for a bit while I make us some tea, ne?" Shouka cajoled enticingly.

"Hai, arigatou aniue." Reishin said happily, gracefully sitting down on one of the chairs.

He watched Shouka fumble about the small area as he prepared their tea. Reishin shot his brother a pained look as he broke one, two, no— three cups and four plates before triumphantly setting down a steaming pot and two cups (that had mercifully escaped his tender ministrations) on the table, as well as a plate of manjuu buns.

Reishin made a mental note to send a new tea set to his brother's house in the morning, as Shuurei would definitely be upset when she discovered the mess her otou-san made in the kitchen.

Shouka made himself comfortable on the seat opposite Reishin. Without asking, he proceeded to pour their tea. Slight tendrils of smoke rose from the clay cups and wafted gently upwards.

Reishin lifted the cup between clasped hands and breathed in the faint but spicy scent of ginger tea. While he knew that the vile brew his elder brother always served him in no way tasted like proper tea, over the years the bitter flavor had actually grown on him.

"Have you spoken to Shuurei, aniue?" Reishin asked, breaking the silence.

A cup was gently set down on the table. "Hai," he replied softly.

Reishin looked at the stony mask his elder brother currently had in place. If it were solely up to him, Shuurei would be free to live exactly as she wished. It was unfortunate however that she carried the name of Kou, and as such, could not escape her destiny.

A very unReishin-like sigh escaped his lips. "What did she say?" he asked his elder brother tentatively.

Shouka continued to sip at his tea. "She will do what she must," he answered simply.


	7. Chapter 7

He found her at the courtyard, sitting under the cherry tree. She was idly twirling a single cherry blossom in her slender fingers, staring out into space.

Seiran halted a few feet from her, and waited for her to acknowledge his presence. A strange sense of tranquility enveloped her, and he was reluctant to intrude in her solitude. He was about to walk away when she spoke.

"Seiran," she called softly.

He slowly met her eyes, "Hai, Shuurei," he replied just as softly.

"Won't you stay with me for a bit?" she asked hesitantly, "I… I… please?" she looked up at him in mute appeal.

Seiran sighed deeply, what did he expect— that she would greet him with open arms? A declaration of undying love? Part of him wanted to refuse her request, in the hopes that she'd be able to voice out what he wanted, no— needed to hear.

Just because she rejected Ryuuki doesn't mean she loves you, idiot he thought to himself mockingly. She could just as easily marry Kouyuu or Ryuuren… or any of the other men who were in love with her for that matter. And there were far too many of them; and far better matches for her than he could ever possibly be. After all, what was he? Who was he? He was just one of the Emperor's guards after all…

"Hai," he said calmly. None of his inner turmoil showed in his face. He walked over to her and leaned against the tree, his arms crossed casually over his chest.

Shuurei sat on the ground, acutely aware of his presence next to her. She had been thinking about a lot of things recently and she had come to a startling realization. She knew what she wanted; in fact, she already had a speech prepared but now, the words just refused to come out. She bit her lip, frustrated at her own reticence.

This was strange. She had never been embarrassed or uncomfortable in Seiran's presence all her life, and now, she was experiencing both. So they stayed quietly together, a weird and awkward silence filling the air.

He felt like a heel. He looked down and watched as myriad emotions danced across her beautiful face. Seiran was disgusted by his selfishness, and he regretted once again his earlier actions. His weakness and inability to control his feelings had brought on this tension between them. It was painful to see that his love was making her feel this anxiety.

He had to find a way to fix this; even if it killed him. He could not bear to lose her. And if the only way that he would be able to stay by her side was as good old dependable Seiran, then so be it.

Seiran's mouth was drawn in a thin line, "Ojou-sama," he said in a strained tone, putting great emphasis on the honorific, "about what I said before, please don't think about it." He managed to grit out the words, "Those words were not meant to cause you grief, and I apologize if they brought you any inconvenience." He ended flatly.

Her chest tightened painfully at his tone and her eyes flew up to meet his. She caught the look of naked pain in their beautiful emerald depths before they were quickly masked. If she hadn't seen it, she would have lost all hope as she stared at the stoic expression etched on his handsome face.

Suddenly, she knew what she was supposed to do, and the fear that had paralyzed her throat earlier seemed to have melted away.

"So," she murmured quietly, "does this mean that you're taking back what you said? And am I to understand that you don't really love me?" she asked softly, looking at him with unfathomable eyes.

He gazed down at her in confusion, "Eh, Ojou-sama?"

"Shuurei," she corrected firmly. "My name is Shuurei, Seiran…" she repeated. "I would like to hear you call me by my name. It find that it… pleases me." She said in an odd voice.

He looked at her helplessly. He had been prepared to do the right thing, the _honorable_ thing and now, this? "Shuurei, I don't understand."

"Give me your hand, Seiran," she murmured gently.

Unconsciously obeying her command, he offered his hand. Seiran felt her place something soft and silky in his cupped palm. He glanced down and found himself staring at the cherry blossom she had been holding earlier. He turned baffled green eyes to her.

She started speaking, slowly at first, "I used to think that cherry blossoms were afraid to fall, because falling meant dying."

Heart beating fast, Seiran listened to her intently, with bated breath.

"But I was wrong," she said softly. "I've come to understand many things these past few days." She stole a brief look at him through lowered lids, seeing his rapt expression her voice gained strength, "I realized that I was never really afraid to fall because I knew you were there, that you'd always be there to protect me and keep me safe."

"I never questioned that feeling, taking it for granted that that was how things were supposed to be." She ended, staring up at him directly, allowing him to finally see the truth.

The breath he'd been holding came out in a hiss as he looked into her eyes, the warmth and love… burning brightly against the darkness was unmistakable.

"Shuurei…" he said wonderingly.

She looked at him, a rueful smile on her face. "It seems that when you took my hand on that snowy day, my fate was sealed as well," she ended wryly. Seeing the bewildered expression on his face she burst out laughing.

"Oi Seiran," she murmured playfully, "And here I thought I was the densest person in the world," she grinned at him. "It seems that you're even thicker than I am!" she teased impertinently.

Seeing the carefree smile on her face and the joy radiating from her, he felt the tightness gripping his body slowly ease.

"Shuurei… are you sure?" he asked hesitantly, "because if you're not..."

She silenced him with a single look. "Hai," she answered firmly. She held out her hand to him again, "Seiran?"

He smiled at her and accepted her unspoken promise. Seiran placed his large hand in the grasp of her much smaller one. He sat down beside her, and he leaned against the tree trunk. Shuurei moved closer to him, allowing her head to rest lightly on his shoulder.

Seiran looked down at their clasped hands, a feeling of peace and contentment washed over him in waves. He squeezed gently, and she squeezed back in reply.

_I love you._

_I know, I love you too._

They sat together watching the stars in a companionable silence for a long time. No words were spoken, none were needed.


	8. Epilogue

Two figures watched them from the shadows, each one silently observing the pair with a hawk-like gaze.

Shouka smile contentedly, secure in the knowledge that his beloved daughter had finally made her choice. And to say he was pleased with her choice would be an understatement. Although, when he thought about how hurt and lonely the emperor would be, his smile wavered.

Reishin turned on him with accusing eyes, "You planned this from the start, didn't you?" he demanded harshly.

He raised his brow at the tone, "Rei-kun," he murmured, deliberately using the diminutive to remind his brother of his place.

The younger man flushed slightly, "Gomen nasai, aniue," he mumbled.

Shouka moved to face the courtyard again, and continued steadily, "I never planned anything. Though I must admit that I had hoped they would…" he paused, trying to choose words that would best describe his thoughts. "I had hoped that they would realize their feelings for each other, before they both did something irreparable."

Irreparable obviously referring to Shuurei marrying Ryuuki, Reishin thought, carefully mulling over his brother's explanation. He stared intensely at Shouka, intrigued at this show of foresight by his usually clueless onii-san. "You believe they are good for each other then?" he challenged belligerently.

"Hai," he answered quickly, without the faintest hint of doubt.

"Kurou will be furious," he remarked casually, though he was inwardly dancing with glee at the thought of how angry the proxy head of the Kou clan would be. "You are aware after all, that he had plans for Shuurei and Kouyuu."

Shouka shot him an amused look, knowing full well what was going on inside his brother's head. "Kouyuu treats Shuurei as he would a sister. A marriage between them would be absolutely out of the question, even if he is your beloved son, Reishin." Shouka explained completely and succinctly, unwilling to ruffle feathers so easily disturbed.

Reishin looked at him wryly, mentally giving him a pat on the shoulders. Well done Shou-aniue, well done.

"So this is what Shuurei wishes then, is it?" he murmured softly.

Shouka nodded his head in silent accord. "Will you accept this union?" he asked quietly, though there was no mistaking the edge in his tone.

Just to test the waters he stated, "He has no title, no power, no land— he has nothing to offer Shuurei, aniue." He pointed out reasonably. "He has no family, no background to speak of. Are you willing to consign your daughter to that kind of life?" he inquired derisively, playing the devil's advocate.

He merely gave his brother a hard stare and answered, "It is enough that Shuurei chose him; that Seiran loves her and she loves him back is enough."

"How touching," he sneered.

Shouka ignored Reishin's attempts to bait him. After all, he knew something the younger man didn't.

"I ask you again brother, will you accept this match?" he asked calmly.

Reishin watched his onii-san with eyes that were attuned to his every move, every nuance of meaning in his expression. The steely glint in Shouka's eyes issued a primal warning, and he found himself reluctant to ignore it.

Snapping his fan closed, he barked his acquiesce. "Hai!" then he turned on his heel, and said, "I'll be leaving now, and I," he stressed the word, "Will inform Kurou of this new development." That said, he was gone in a rustle of satin and silk.

Shouka smiled. No background to speak of eh? He wondered how Reishin would react when he found out that Shuurei had chosen… the best man after all.


End file.
